Crazy Dr, Gossip

HOW TO KNOW WHEN YOUR HUSBAND DISLIKES YOUR COOKING

Man_Tasting_Food
The doctor himself has a perfect recipe for detecting bad soup (although he’s not a husband yet) and in his infinite wisdom, he has decided to share the secrets of the trade with us. The next text you will be reading is that of the expert soup taster, the Crazy Dr. let’s go in with clear taste buds and pink gas masks.

SCORE YOUR HUSBAND ONE POINT FOR EACH ITEM IF HE DOES ANY OF THESE:

  • When you serve him his dinner, HE TAKES A BITE, THEN REMEMBERS HE DIDN’T PRAY, he then prays.
  • When HE PRAYS AGAIN after eating.
  • When HE ASKS FOR ONE, TWO extra pieces of cutlery while eating
  • When HE IS UNUSUALLY QUIET while eating.
  • When HE SAYS “This garden egg stew is nice” when in fact it was chicken stew you cooked.
  • When HE KEEPS SAYING “I’m getting full”, whereas he’s nowhere near halfway through the food.
  • When HE SUGGESTS “Why don’t you join me here?”
  • When YOU ARE NOT LOOKING, he hurries off to the kitchen, empties half the food into the bin, washes his plate and returns grinning like a well fed puppy.
  •  When he goes in to lie down about an hour later, you join him and start tickling him. He remains still and says “NOT NOW, I’VE JUST FINISHED EATING”
  • When you notice he gets up several times during the night and you ask why, he says “I ATE TOO MUCH LAST NIGHT”.
  • When he’s leaving for work in the morning, he suddenly remembers to thank you for LAST NIGHT’S WONDERFUL MEAL.
  • When you then suggest cooking one of his (your) delicacies for dinner, He says “Really! Thanks but I’ll like something light, like yam or bread with eggs. IF HE THINKS YOU’LL MESS THAT UP AS WELL, he says “Remember the doctor told me to mind the scales”.
  • When you then ask if you should pack him breakfast, he says “Never mind honey, I can’t wait” or “I’VE GOT A BREAKFAST MEETING”.
  • When HE COMMITS TO PRAYER AND FASTING more readily and gets a car sticker that says “MAN SHALL NOT LIVE BY BREAD ALONE”.
  • When YOUR FRIENDS TELL YOU HE’S LOSING WEIGHT despite your ‘good’ cooking.
  • When he constantly reminds you on how much he spends on ‘feeding’ the family.
  • When HE VISITS HIS MOTHER/PARENTS on the way home from work.
  • When HE GOES TO EVERY PARTY, wedding etc on Saturday.
  • When HE STAYS BEHIND IN CHURCH for thanksgiving, child dedication, etc.
  • When HE GOES TO WATCH TV regularly at his friend’s and you know that wife is a good cook.
  • When HE RECALLS ‘GOOD OLD DAYS’ as a bachelor cooking for himself.
  • When he tells you that your cooking not only reminds him of his mother’s but HIS GRANDMOTHER’S AS WELL.
  • When he comes home one day, eats without complaining, hugs you tenderly, then looks into your eyes and says “I THINK WE NEED A MAID”

IF YOUR HUSBAND SCORES

0-6: HE LIKES YOUR COOKING, KEEP IT UP

7-12: TOO CLOSE TO CALL, YOU COULD GET SOME HELP FROM FRIENDS WHO ARE GOOD COOKS

13-18: PROBABLY DISLIKES YOUR COOKING, GET ENROLLED IN CATERING SCHOOL.

19-23: DEFINITELY DISLIKES YOUR COOKING, YOU ARE A BAD COOK!

Written and Compiled by Dr. Deji O. (All rights reserved)

I Write What I Like